dont read this

im tired im exhausted, im mentally frustrated, i dont have control, my opinion doesnt matter because im a felon, hey did you hear about the gas prices, its only going to get worse, no one wants to believe that our time is not unlimited, no one wants to see and admit that love turns to hate and then turns to love again and you dont have control of anything, freedom of speech, privacy, you dont have it, but i keep going even when i cant figure out if its harder to give up or to keep going, with my tired body and mind im only sixteen, i keep going day after day after day until you cant take it anymore, until you really truly cant take it anymore, then the relief ofdeath, however whenever it happens, each one of your choices made today are steps to the final prize you win at the end, people keep telling me, youll find the one, it will come when you least expect it, nothings wrong with you nothings wrong at all just wait, well now is when i really give up, im done, you wont see me trying, i want to not be given up on, i want to be proven wrong damn it, i want to change completely, and its not because i dont like who i am, but i dont like who i am and thats it, i guess i dont know what the fuck im talking about, i dont like how things are, i dont like how things are going, i dont want to smoke pot all the time, i want to remember something, when someone says "hey man you gotta remember who this kid is you dated him" and i draw a blank, it gets to the point where its not even funny anymore, i dont want long term memory theres nothing a long time ago worth remembering, i dont want to always look forward to or constantly think about getting high getting high getting highhhhh, whats the point, its pointless, so pessimistic, what do i need here, is there any other answer to this but time, because even time isnt guranteed, am i blind or just burnt out, or is it more then that, wake me up in half a year, thats the answer, if theres a god i will go in a coma for a half a year, so here your test GOD LORD SAVIOR put me in a coma, or do something wtffffffffff, so anyways life sucks life rocks, death is scary, death is a relief, love hurts you more then its worth, is it as necessary as im making it to get hurt, no... so if you dont like me fuck you fucking fucker ill stab your dog you bitch, if you like me then ill feed your dog bitch, if you dont know who i am, which you probably dont since i dont know who the fuck i am either, then fuck you and im done writing live journal entries for a little while